Saturday, 16 March 2013

Totally Off Topic... Again (Pitch Madness)

So, along with spending my days watching/making kids TV and stuffing my face with bacon and/or cheese, I'm also an aspiring novelist.  And I wrote one *pats self on back* that I hope other people will want to read so much they would pay money.  If you are on this blog because you want to read more about food, you can stop here and click on one of the posts over here --->. Unless, of course,  you want to read 250 words about a drunk girl having an argument with a McDonalds employee over a cheeseburger.

Turns out, it's really f*ing hard to get published.  I've only sent out a hand full of queries and I think (hope) things are going ok so far.  When I found out about Pitch Madness on Twitter (awesome writing resource/distraction), I was all like, this is brilliant!  And then I submitted and have been checking the Twitter feed every five seconds.

I'm taking the leap and posting my entry here.  I would love any feedback! Super insecure about my pitch and can think of a million ways to make it better, doh!  Totally left out that the main character accidentally becomes famous on her first day in London.

Good luck to all my fellow Pitch Madness entrants!

Genre: Women's Fiction
Word Count: 77,000


What happens when a small town girl collides with the London glitterati?  Someone’s lady bits trend on Twitter. THE ACCIDENTAL SOCIALITE follows a quirky and clumsy twenty-something as she forges her own path in life.
It was 3 A.M and all I wanted was a cheeseburger.
“Miss, we sell only Big Mac after midnight,” said the Bangladeshi McDonalds employee.
“Yes, I understand that and I will pay for a Big Mac, but I would like a cheeseburger, so can you, like, remove a patty and mid bun and hold the secret sauce?  Please?”
“Miss I am sorry, but we do not have this item now.”
A tall, drunk and incredibly beautiful blonde South African girl appeared at the till next to me.
“I’ll have a hot dog.”
That’s my new best friend, Lucinda.
We walked out of McDonalds still drunk and without our respective food, just a small fries to ‘split’, which really meant Lucinda was going to watch me eat them.  As I was elegantly shoving eight fries into my mouth at once, not unlike a four-year-old, I became the unwitting participant of a photo-shoot.  Confused, I looked around for the celebrity garnering all this attention and it wasn’t until Lucinda slapped the second fistful of fries out of my hand that I realized that celebrity was me. 
Less than twenty four hours earlier, my eighteen-hour flight from Edmonton to London connecting in Denver landed at 9:38 A.M on a grey, drizzly Saturday in late January, twenty minutes late at terminal three.  I struggled to get my large carry on bag out of the overhead compartment, not just because it was heavy, but also because I had inadvertently rendered myself immobile.  


  1. Thanks for sharing your entry. I'm just a querier, so take what you want and leave the rest.

    I think the pitch could be tighter, says the girl who has suffered brilliantly to write her own pitch. Most of the writing sources I've encountered say to avoid hypothetical or rhetorical questions in the pitch. Asking a question can send the reader's mind onto a new track you don't intend.

    The story seems to have excellent potential for humor and character growth. I wonder if there is a better way to indicate diversity of the characters. A couple of the sentence seem to run-on (to me), like the sentences immediately before and after the asterisk break.

    Best wishes for all your future success!

  2. Thanks for the feedback! As as soon as I sent it I regretted the question. It's in my query letter and that's got a couple partial requests and a full so I thought it was working. Guess I learned my lesson a 35 word pitch is a whole different ball game compared to a query letter. But the upside? I'm always learning new tricks and it ain't over till it's over. Thanks so much again for your comment!

  3. Cannot WAIT to see, read and hear what happens next for you. You're a legend little lady - glitterati will always find you!

  4. I aree with Amanda on your pitch. Otherwise I love the excerpt!

  5. Hi! I found you via Tumblr (How about we CP) and I am interested in exchanging a few pages (I'll email you). Your book sounds like a lot of fun. But I figured I'd give my two cents on your entry. I think Amanda has a point about leading with a question (although it doesn't actually bother me). I'd watch the use of "quirky" though. I think quirky's become a bit of a cliche (thanks to Zooey Deschenal, most likely). Don't get me wrong, I think people still love quirky people, but having someone described as quirky can cause a gut reaction eye roll. "Oh, another quirky girl. Let me guess. She likes polka dots."
    And "forges her own path in life" is pretty vague. Although I am intrigued as to how one becomes an Accidental Socialite.

    I loved the cheeseburger & bargaining with the McDonald's employee. Very active and engaging beginning. After that, I don't enjoy the scene setting (about the flight & weather) with all the somewhat boring details about the flight, but I think that might be because it is an introduction and the word limit kept you from getting to the more interesting part that no doubt follows.